Alone - Knowledge




Many years ago we humans lived out in the nature.

We still do that, just in another way.

We are not born with big claws, 
we cannot fly and we cannot run very fast.

So, back in the ancient times of nature, we only survived

because we helped each other and looked after each other.


If you became alone,

because you got lost 
or because you were excluded from your group,

then you were eaten by a predator.

- Unless you were very good at 
using your body, your thoughts and yourself.




Our body and brain deeply remember how it was then.

Therefore, the body screams when we feel alone

 we are let down by the most important people in our lives.

And therefore,

many of us are ready to do almost anything

to be accepted by the other people in our group 

- especially those who are powerful and could exclude us from the group.


Sadly enough we are ready to act in the most horrible destructive and self-destructive ways to avoid exclusion from our group.



So it is of the outmost importance that we
 allow ourselves

to be different from each other 

and that we value and cultivate diversity.

Then we become strong together.


…Because it is safe and good to be in a place

where you are fully respected and valued 
as the person you realize you are

and you want to be.

This is the best way we can take care of ourselves and each other.


And when you, day by day, 

go on a playful discovery in the world of your daily life,

with your body and your thoughts,

then you can become friends,
 even with yourself.

That is the reason why there is High-alarm in the brain

if you feel alone and excluded.


That is the most dangerous situation

for a human being.


It happens in the case of neglect, violence, abuse, bullying

and scolding. Against you or when you witness it.


Such experiences kan render the Alarm-Brain hyper-sensitive.

Very small incidents can then ignite the alarm.


You can end up in mental life-danger

in which everything will be focused on survival in your group.


You do whatever you can to behave like the others,

especially the powerful ones,

in order to be accepted and not excluded.


Many of us are ready to do almost everything to be accepted.


That means that you may end up saying and doing things against another person that makes him scared or sad. In the worst case inflict suffering on yourself or others.

We exclude others because we are afraid of being excluded ourself.


We may also turn it against ourself…

I am not good enough.



When there is High-alarm in the brain,

the Thinking Brain is turned down.


That makes it difficult to understand, learn and remember things.

It becomes difficult to participate in the world and to express yourself. And your body may be stressed and ill.


In prehistoric times we only survived because we worked close together in groups. If you were left alone in the wilderness you would die quickly.


High-alarm in the brain may also activate

healthy fight-reactions: Fair anger, indignation, strength.

You stand up against violence, abuse, suppression and injustice.


Becomes personally, socially and politically active and brave, seek insights and new friends.


Desire and strength to liberate yourself and others.

Help people who suffer.


If it is impossible to create a safe community you need to take care of yourself.


People who commit

violence, abuse and bully

feel very alone.


Their Thinking Brains are turned down so it become difficult for them to think and reflect about their behavior.


They need help

to think and act positively.


High-alarm in the brain

Mental life-danger



...That is also about fight and flight.


You can become outward reacting or hide yourself.

Both may provoke the Alarm-Brain in other people so they reject you and you become even more alone. This is a vicious circle.


Everything may become unbearable so you need to anesthetize the Alarm-Brain and the Thinking-Brain with alhohol or drugs.


And you can end up in hopelessness

and get suicidal thoughts.


A Refuge


Thoughts appear endlessly and sometimes this may well make you quite tired;

you just want time off to completely relax your brain and not thinking about anything.


Imagine you create a completely private and safe refuge inside yourself,

a place-of dreams where you find peace and quiet and where everything is good.


Inside your refuge you can legitimately organize everything exactly the way you want.

You can allow yourself to feel completely well in every way and you have all options available to you, because you can use your imagination.


Inside your refuge you can be yourself,

exactly the way you know you are deep inside,

and who you would like to bein the future.


In your refuge you have access to all the best in you,

everything that feels right.


It´s always possible to move into your refuge for a shorter or longer time,

whenever you want to or need it.

You are also able to develop your refuge just the way you want to.

We can do a lot to create

a safe and strong community

in which nobody feels alone and excluded:


  • Share the knowledge about the mechanisms of exclusion with each other
  • Cultivate diversity as a core value for the community
  • Gather around common positive activities and goals
  • Cultivate mistakes as an opportunity for learning.
  • Make sure that everybody gets appropriate challenges and lots of succesful experiences.
  • Speak properly to each other.
  • Say hi, listen to each other with respect, look at each other with smiling eyes
  • Show compassion and care when something is difficult
  • Be physical active together




Poul & Louise